Some Interesting Jokes to help you Wind Down After a Stressful Day....
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing
the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which
comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the
difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too
many problems. The computer scientist says "It's the best thing that's
ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks
I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"
Consultants
A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a
monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in
politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
"The one to the left costs $500," says the
storeowner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the
storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that
"That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and
Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the storeowner.
"$3000!" exclaims the man. "What can that one
do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never
seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."
Top 10 signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was
$20,000.
9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three
years running.
8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.
5. Mumbled, "Oh, uh-pleeez" 95 times during the
movie "The Net"
4. Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments.
3. Video dating profile lists "public-key
encryption" among turn-ons
2. When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good
Morning, Mr. President."
1. You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa
card now, jerk.
ID10T
Young Susie was having trouble with her computer so she
called Wes, the computer guy, over to her desk. Wes clicked a couple buttons
and solved the problem.
As he was walking away Susie called after him, "So,
what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an 'ID ten T'
error." A puzzled expression ran riot over Susie's face. " 'An ID
ten T' error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?" He gave her
a grin. "Haven't you ever seen an 'ID ten T' error before?" Susie
replied, "No." "Write it down," he said, "and I
think you'll figure it out." . . . . . . . . I D 1 0 T .
Three Microsoft engineers and three vmware engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference.
The vmware engineers notice that the Microsoft engineers bought only one ticket between them.
The vmware engineers ask the Microsoft engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. “Watch and learn,” was the reply.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Microsoft engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into the toilet.
When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the toilet door and says “ticket please!” The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor.
The vmware engineers are impressed, and decide that’s what they will do on the trip back.
Then on the return trip, the vmware engineers notice that the Microsoft engineers haven’t bought any tickets. “How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?” they ask.
“Watch and learn,” was the reply.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three vmware engineers hurry for the toilet.
A few moments later, one of the Microsoft engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the toilet door and says, “ticket please!”
Worried about the new Google privacy rules?
It is really quite easy to stop them seeing your searches.
Follow the steps in the picture and you can be as private as a really private thing
Microsoft and vmware engineers on a train
Three Microsoft engineers and three vmware engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference.The vmware engineers notice that the Microsoft engineers bought only one ticket between them.
The vmware engineers ask the Microsoft engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. “Watch and learn,” was the reply.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Microsoft engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into the toilet.
When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the toilet door and says “ticket please!” The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor.
The vmware engineers are impressed, and decide that’s what they will do on the trip back.
Then on the return trip, the vmware engineers notice that the Microsoft engineers haven’t bought any tickets. “How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?” they ask.
“Watch and learn,” was the reply.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three vmware engineers hurry for the toilet.
A few moments later, one of the Microsoft engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the toilet door and says, “ticket please!”
What is Facebook?
So what is Facebook? you ask.
Well, let some grey bloke explain in his uniquely captivating and inspiring style.How to stop Google watching your searches
Worried about the new Google privacy rules?
It is really quite easy to stop them seeing your searches.
Follow the steps in the picture and you can be as private as a really private thing
0 comments → Tech Jokes
Post a Comment